I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
