i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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