If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Randomize
