I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
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