I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
