My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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