Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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