im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
