you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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