we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
