shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
