can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
