PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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