For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
