We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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