My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
This is my gift to your gina
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Randomize
