And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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