I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
That's intense
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Randomize
