Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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