Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize