just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
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