Non-Jews are for practice
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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