Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
