Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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