don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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