I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
We had to coat check the pizza.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
