I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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