I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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