Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
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