I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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