he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
