i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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