i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
