I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Randomize
