Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
