why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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