I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
