he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
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