do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
