ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
