Why are handjobs necessary in class?
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
