Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
