I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
