so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
