I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
