weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
