He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
She just used a chaser for red wine.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
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