Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Randomize
