It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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