Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
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