he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
