does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
