Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
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