cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
