3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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