so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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