I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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