i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Congratulations! We have a period
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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