i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
All I want is dick and wine.
Randomize