Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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