They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
