it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Randomize
