Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Randomize
