There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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