Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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