they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize